sugar midnight tastes so sweet

clairebunny @ 2006-08-19T21:12:00

2006-08-20T01:14:33Z

I've been reading less, drawing less, painting less, going on the computer less, watching the TV less, going out less....... I really couldn't even tell you what I've been doing this summer. My days seem to be on a very redundant schedule- babysitting Kelly from 10 to 6 at Davenport, going home, taking an hour long shower, sleeping.... or on some nights if I felt weirdly uppity I'd go get some coffee with Paul (he went back to Buffalo on Friday morning) or hang out in the back seat Kyle's car wink wink (we broke up last week). And while that's was all very fun at the time I still feel as if I am like, the most insipid individual of all time, evarrrr.

I saw that movie Click a while ago, that new Adam Sandler movie I was expecting to be a huge flop. Ever since I saw Little Man with Kelly I'm starting to have relatively no faith in movies. Click wasn't as funny as I expected it to be. It was actually pretty sad (it had a happy ending) but it was a little thought provoking I guess. The message kind of reminded me of Saw, like, shut the fuck up and be happy with your life, or else you will die. That kind of thing. Sometimes you just need to see a mediocre movie to remind you that your life isn't THAT terrible.

I feel like I haven't done anything terribly adventurous in a long time, which doesn't help my boredom. I guess I should save that all up for college, which, incase you don't know me very well, I'm terrified for. I found out who my roommate was, and she seems pretty cool, hopefully isn't a psycho like Paul's mom's friend's roommate. Apparently Paul's mom's friend had a roommate in college who sat at the edge of her bed while she slept holding a giant knife. Um. I'm not down with that. I mean..... even I would OBVIOUSLY only purchase sheets that shield me from wicked spirits, serial cannibal killers and psycho rapists, simply sight itself of a knife wielding art student is enough to make me piss myself.

Oh yeah, and psychos aren't all I'm afraid of concerning this new experience. There's gonna be a lot of goddamn competition. Yep. My spidey senses are tingling with anticipation of the competativeness. And I don't mean the good kind of anticipation. I mean the anticipation that keeps you awake all night dwelling on shit. I hope, even though I obviously won't be 'the best', I'll be able to maintain a good GPA. It would be nice to rub that in some skeptical adults faces. Like hey, Claire is doing magnificently in college, perhaps she isn't a total brainless dipshit. Perrrrhappppssssual.

Marsupial. ha
Such a ridiculous word. If I ever ate it, I would probably wrinkle my face in disgust before regurgitating every letter. Why can't we just call them animals with pockets... wow I am juvenile. Why do i write in this shit thing anyway. What I have to offer is basic pissing and moaning that in no way reflects the "dear god please help me save me from myself" urgency that initiated this nonsense. Not that I have with ninja like ease and precision overcome a "difficult phase" in my life or anything.... I'm not ambitious enough nor did i achieve a random epiphany on how to be happy. I'm just like....boring as hell. Literally the only semi interesting part of my day is what celeb gossip magazine I am going to look at when I take a shit later.

clairebunny @ 2006-08-06T04:04:00

2006-08-06T08:06:42Z

I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone. And all the people are pigs. And I'm the pretty one, but everyone thinks I'm ugly because they're all pigs and they think pigs are pretty.

sweet surrender, what a night

2006-07-08T05:04:06Z

Let's do a sparknotes version of my life so I don't have to type too much.

1. prom - I didn't like it.

2. fordham prom - I liked it.

3. graduation - The dinner afterwards was nice. Should I feel guilty about not getting emotionally involved in a ceremony that's supposed to be a very important one in my life?

4. bermuda - Biiiiiiig neverending party on a biiiiiiiiig boat.

5. and the rest of the summer - I like Kyle. =)

nAkEdDd TiMeEeeEe

2006-05-09T15:54:13Z

Holy shit, I won't be in high school much longer.

That was a severely intense revelation that was 100% deserving of its own livejournal entry. So shutup cuntface and pass the damn fruit loops

clairebunny @ 2006-03-04T22:33:00

2006-03-05T03:34:13Z

I got into SVA.

clairebunny @ 2006-02-25T14:55:00

2006-02-25T19:55:51Z

Caitie: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU.

damn it feels good to be a ganxta

clairebunny @ 2006-02-25T03:18:00

2006-02-25T08:19:47Z

What am I doing with my life?

I'm not even good. I don't even like other artists. I think they are ridiculous and needy people, seeking attention and using their creativity as an outlet but they like to tell people they are pursuing some sort of cause or something life altering. Am I being that shallow person. Ahhhhhhh

I'm more scared that I'm becoming overbearingly critical and bitchy.

clairebunny @ 2006-02-23T19:38:00

2006-02-24T00:38:59Z

And you didn't care that the Empress of the Universe had to go home every night to a cold castle where the king stomped around saying hugs are for puppy dogs and we are housebroken.

clairebunny @ 2006-02-07T22:47:00

2006-02-08T03:53:54Z

In all seriousness I'm freaked out. My english teacher told the class that we should use less commas. Kinda going through a difficult adjustment period right now.

Oh yeah, and incase I couldn't make it any more obvious in the past bazillion entries, I'm sick of the penis. But there will be none of this bisexualness. I just should get a prom date or something.

I was babysitting Kelly on Saturday. I love Kelly. I really do. We threw Nerds at eachother for a while as we watched Garden State and half of The Longest Yard. When I got home and took my clothes off to change in my pajamas, Nerds came out of my pants. It was really special.

I started drivers Ed yesterday. Just to reenforce the fact I'm a rediculously bad driver. If I were less reasonable I would blame my ADD. But nobody cares about ADD. Think about it. Who thinks ADD is really THAT legit besides people who have it? I hate using that as an excuse for being unfit to live.

Tomorrow is Wednesday, February 8, 2006.

clairebunny @ 2006-01-25T20:18:00

2006-01-26T01:18:29Z

I will tell all my friends i've got my gun to your head.

TAKE THAT TBS

clairebunny @ 2006-01-19T15:43:00

2006-01-19T20:43:24Z

Hey, friends, lovers, mothers and other strangers, you are not going to believe what just happened to me... Oh, my God, did you just see that? I almost did a half nelson, I almost bruised my delicates, my delicates, my domo arigatos, Mr tomatoes. Huge News! I have met, are you ready for this, Mr Right, well, Mr Right Now. Good night, folks, I'm here all week, Jack 2000. He works at the Jumpin Java - you know, the coffee shop on seventy second and his name is Paul and he is cute with a capital Q! And the busier it gets, the hotter he gets, and the hotter he gets the sweatier he gets, and the sweatier he gets... I forgot where I'm goin with this, but the main point is me likey he and he likey me and the best part of schezam, he gives me free iced coffee every time I go in which is on the hour every hour, good nights and occasionally on the half hour. Ba ba ba ba ba

clairebunny @ 2006-01-11T01:30:00

2006-01-11T06:33:39Z

I have spidey senses.

Oh- and I still think about him a lot and I don't know why.

clairebunny @ 2005-12-31T23:54:00

2006-01-01T04:54:30Z

x0 Princess Lana: OMG
x0 Princess Lana: CLAIRE
claire d3 lune: sup
x0 Princess Lana: i really gotta pee
x0 Princess Lana: should i make it my last of 05 or my first of 06?
claire d3 lune: ...
x0 Princess Lana: lol
claire d3 lune: first of 06
claire d3 lune: i'll go w/ you
x0 Princess Lana: lol ok
claire d3 lune: damn i gotta pee
x0 Princess Lana: ME TOO!

wah

2005-12-30T19:00:55Z

I never thought the day would come where I would actually WANT a nice bag and my mom WOULDNT buy it for me. I love how whenever I see a coach bag that I loathe and find completely atrotious, my mom will put down like $400 for it, but once I really really like one she gets all, "Save your money."

I love my mommy. She made me pancakes. <3

MUST. GET. BEFORE. VACATION. ai carumba.

"Scholars agree that for a time women participated in battle. An important myth tells the story of the outlaw of females in combat. A mother observes the carnage after a battle with her son at her side, after which she insists he swear to change the laws of combat for women. What disturbs the woman so is a beheaded woman whose child is still clutching her mother's breast, milk on one cheek, blood on the other. Evidence also points to the cruel treatment of women during this particularly violent time. They were often raped by course warriors, starved, and basically used as bait. This is not to say that women were not capable warriors, there is some historical evidence to support their successful and consentual role in battle. However, a society is a society in the grips of disaster when their women are treated in such a way. Where a child is orphaned and starving. Where life begins with murder."

idk

clairebunny @ 2005-12-28T23:57:00

2005-12-29T05:01:51Z

When somebody dumps you, they are oblidged to wait until you get a new significant other before they get their own.

Right?

APPARENTLY NOT!!!!!

Wahahahahaha. I've been having sex dreams every night for god knows how long. Now, typically, I don't think I'm the kind of girl who obsesses over hormones and satisfying my own but I'm beginning to find that my homeostasis is way off balance and theres really nothing left to do except fuck the shit out of my livejournal in hopes that I'll find sexual gratification without actual sex.

On another note, I think its cute how all the ugly kids on myspace have their sexual orientation as "Swinger" when they get no ass.

tell me all the lies that are in your head

2005-12-24T04:07:51Z

Beethoven was a pupil of Haydn, and Schubert lived near the two of them. Supposedly they all frequented the same little cafes. I wonder if they ever got together and gang-banged a lady piano player. Just a thought.

"Is Bruno a sadist?"
"Beats me."

WAHAHAHAHA.

I'M A WOMAN POSESSED

2005-12-20T02:08:17Z

I am obsessed with coyotes.

I'm a little bit twisted, a little left of where I need to be.

2005-12-19T20:51:26Z

Iiiiiiiiiiiiii

Waaaaaaaaaaaaant

Toooooooooooooooooooo

Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Tttttttttto

SSSSSSSSSVVVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAA

K, all rants aside, today wasn't so bad. Its almost of eerie how much I have this school thing under control now (knock on wood). I'm getting a little resentful of the fact that I hadn't tried this ritalin shit earlier in my life, but what can you do? I just want to be so normal it hurts.

waka laka

2005-12-18T23:58:45Z

Never mind me I am just a moron in disguise
Posing as the poet with these incandescent eyes
Illuminate your features and much to my dismay
You're putting on your jacket while I'm begging you to stay
Keep holding still
Bit from the blade tore flesh from bone.
Alone, a long, long time ago
And where the ash will rest I guess you'll never know
Because it's summer where you are
Summer I'm in love
Summer you were just a universe away
Fulcrum equilibrium I'm balancing between
Your wavering reflection and something I've never seen
Utopia is only universal empathy
Fastidious deliverance from our decadency
Keep holding still

times square can't shine as bright as you

2005-12-15T03:56:34Z

I glorify people too much, you know.

Today my therapist said I have good and smart instincts but I depend on them too much and I don’t like being close to people. I don’t know. I guess. I can’t believe I actually said “my therapist said”. I am such a cliché its almost gross. He said he thinks I’m jaded but I convinced myself it's fine. I said I had to use the bathroom, and I did.

I want cheese and garlic croutons. Paul is coming back this weekend which will be fun and pot filled. I still have to X-mas shop. And there are so many people I’m obligated to get gifts for.

I want the world to stop for a minute and I want to let everything sink in and revel in it and eat it because I bet it would taste good. And stuff.

chex mix

2005-12-12T04:04:15Z

Have you ever been so happy you wanted to explode?

Well I haven't.

But life hasn't been completely unbearable lately. I've been dancing a lot in public and shaking my ass. My very.. very.. white... ass. All musings and body movements aside, I'm feeling healthier mentally. While I have an occasional burst of bitchiness I am not clouded by torment and bloatedness of the head. I am okay. I wish this would happen more often.

clairebunny @ 2005-12-10T12:03:00

2005-12-10T17:03:42Z

Lately the thought of being around people-creatures is repugnant. I mean. Except for my people creatures. I want to throw up. But I’m not going to because we have therapy for that now.

I don’t know. I am fucking dumb. I try to make sense but all that comes out are grumbly-stomach sounds. I am going crazy again.

I’m going shopping today.

I’m a nymphomaniac and I’m bored. Now you understand my conflict. I have this foreboding sense that I’m going to be terribly heartbroken soon. I deserve it. Karma and shit, I guess. I’m a fucking bitch and I need to buy new perfume or else I’ll smell cheap for forever. I don’t like smelling cheap.

I am cheap.

HI

Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.

2005-12-07T01:38:51Z

I don't know.

I don't know how I feel about this higher dosage. Ritalin is notorious for killing your appetite, right? And when you weight under 100 pounds of whoop ass, it just really isn't good when you can't finish your lunch because your smart pills are making you full. Its hard to explain. 'Full' isn't even the right word. Its like, I'm hungry, and I feel weak, but I just don't want to eat anything. Medicine is weird.

I am completely unwilling to sacrifice concentration for energy. I'm becoming pretty dependent on it, I guess, and lately I'm doing well in school. Its new to me and I don't want to lose that just because I can't finish everything I start eating.

My cat is sitting on my lap and I feel so far away from him.

I feel unstuck from my body. Like i'm watching this whole thing somewhere else, laughing. Because damn I am a funny kid.

And incase you haven't noticed, you're allowed to comment now. Have fun.

you think you'll figure me out tonight....

2005-11-29T04:45:50Z

Soooo.
My boyfriend broke up with me.
What else is new?
Actually, that is pretty new. I've never been dumped before.

clairebunny @ 2005-10-29T14:36:00

2005-10-29T18:05:02Z

I should do some homework for once, right?